Chapter 3: When Memories Turn to Ghosts
It’s frightening how the ghosts of your past relationships haunt you at unexpected moments. Mine turned my dates into a series of disasters bound to end my dating career. But somehow I’m under the impression that the ghosts of my past and only relationship do not fall under scary. Rather, my ghosts are actually happy memories that I had with my ex-boyfriend. They remind me of Casper, the friendly ghost. Only there is nothing friendly with the way they tear me apart or in the manner in which they leave me stunned, speechless and hoping.
I wish there is a way in which I could ward away these ghosts. If only I could hire the Spirit Questors to talk them into leaving me alone, I would do so. But Spirit Questors don’t and can’t talk to mere memories. They only deal with the supernatural and paranormal that bugs people like mosquitoes. Their specialty would be ghosts, lamang lupa and mythical creatures. Obviously, ghosts of a warm body and his memories don’t fall under their turf. Not unless I’d kill my ex-boyfriend. Now that’s an idea…
Maybe I should go see a psychologist/psychiatrist and ask them to hypnotize my memories out of me. But they’ll probably talk me into sharing them and ask me to accept things, let go of the past, live my life and all other things that I have tried with both successful and unsuccessful results. Hell, they’ll probably give me some prescription for a drug that’s supposed to fight off my No-More-Alvin depression. The thing is these psychiatrists/psychologists wouldn’t give me anything that I don’t already know nor anything that my friends haven’t told me. Worse, I have to pay them for it when I can get it for absolutely nothing, except maybe for a simple thank you! What kind of profession is that?
What am I going to do with these memories-turned-ghosts? How do you deal with something abstract? Is there a pattern for which these ghosts kept on appearing that I can break? Is there a special word, a password like Abracadabra that I have to know so I can make these ghosts disappear? I wish there was but that would be simple. Too simple. And if there is one thing that I’ve learned in my almost 20 years of existence is that nothing is simple. Anything easy and simple is tragic, fatal at the most. Those who had it easy can attest to that. So I guess I have to do it the hard way. It wont be simple and easy and it may hurt like hell but at least I know it is worth the try. How? Relive my ghosts.